Relationship Enrichment Seminar
Dr. John Grey creator of the greatest vendor “Men are from Mars, girls are from Venus”
Dr. Grey talked about as a preamble to his speak that when his e-book ‘Men are from Mars, Women from Venus’ had come out he was questioned whether or not one can make generalizations in phrases of the behaviour of males and girls. The solely response he gave was whether or not they resonated with what was written within the e-book and 100% of the time they replied ‘Sure’.
1. The variations between Men and Women are common. Women all over the world complain that “He would not perceive”. “He would not pay attention”. “Solely time he touches me is when he desires intercourse”. And males all over the world complain that “She would not need to have sufficient of intercourse.” (Except the girl is round 37 years. At this magical age girls need extra of intercourse than ever earlier than.)
2. Women like affection from males a lot extra than intercourse. They need to be hugged. John learnt to hug his spouse.
3. Men like to be logical. Women like to share and speak even if there may be no level in their sharing and speaking. Men want to have an goal. They want to see the level in doing one thing. They cannot share for the sake of sharing.
4. Men have a tendency to do one factor at a time. Women do many issues at a time. Men have a tunnel imaginative and prescient. 95% of their consideration is centered on simply one factor and 5% on checking of the setting. Women are simply the reverse. They are repeatedly taking in all the things that there is within the setting whether or not it is helpful or not.
5. John narrated the incident of his spouse asking him to get some milk whereas coming residence from work. He forgets. She considerately places it down to his pondering of work. She asks him once more. Once more he forgets. She takes it personally. It is not that the milk was forgotten however that she was forgotten. Women behave in this method.
6. Men have their personal caves on which the signal states “Please do not disturb.” Men like to retreat into their personal world the place they really feel they are in management. Women additionally have caves however the signal on their caves is “I want to speak”. When a man asks a girl what’s improper and she says “Nothing” it actually means “Nothing, until you care to pay attention and give me a possibility to speak.”
7. 90% of girls go into remedy as a result of they need to be listened to. They need to be requested questions. They need to really feel particular. Men hate to be questioned. If males need to speak they’re going to speak. If they do not need to speak they will not. When a man is locked in his cave, the girl thinks that one thing is improper with him and goes in and asks questions. This is a improper transfer for the girl to make. Men hate to be interrogated.
8. When a girl touches a man she might want to be cuddled. However for a man wherever he is touched leads to Rome and he thinks due to this fact that it has to lead to intercourse.
9. Men need to overlook the issues of the day. Women need to recollect. A man will say “Overlook it, it is no large deal.” For a girl she is not going to relaxation until the drawback is talked about. Her response to the man, who desires to simply overlook about it and not make a large deal out of it, will be “How can you be so insensitive.”
10. Men ought to by no means inform a girl how she ought to really feel. In truth if she is sad, the person wants to be sad with her for some time as a substitute of providing recommendation.
11. If the man is at a loss for saying something when the girl is feeling dangerous then as a substitute of providing recommendation he may construct her up a bit by saying “I know how a lot you work throughout the day to make the children and myself really feel completely happy. It should be very exhausting.” Her unconscious response would be “He understands.” The girl craves for understanding.
12. Women make noises to get consideration. Men make noises to sign “Please depart me alone.”
13. To cope with stress, generally, girls whereas talking have a tendency to talk in lengthy sentences and then pause. Men suppose that the pause is a sign for saying one thing. Unsuitable. For the girl the pause is simply a semi-colon. Men want to restrain themselves in giving recommendation.
14. When a girl is upset and a man tries to provide a answer 99% of the time her response will be “Sure….however”. When she is relaxed then give the answer. After she has been given the chance to speak about it.
15. If a man tries to stroll in a girl’s footwear, she shall be extra prepared to perceive his level of view. Men have a tendency to count on girls to agree with their level of view as a result of they really feel it is clearly the greatest level of view.
16. Men are effectivity oriented. Should do it the best and quickest approach. Women on the different hand really feel that taking the shortest path between 2 factors is boring. Women like variation. This is particularly true in the bed room. Men go by the identical method each time whereas girls need variation. Men like uniforms and the identical uniform. Men look good in a tuxedo or a go well with and that is it. Each time the identical tuxedo or go well with. Women like to change their gown; generally thrice or even extra instances in a day.
17. When John’s e-book ‘Men are from Mars, Women from Venus’ was on the bestseller checklist for 6 years in a row, John realized how narrowly centered in life he had develop into. He solely gloated about his e-book being no. 1 on the bestseller checklist. John was lacking the little issues of life the place his spouse and youngsters had been involved. Women are ready to see the little issues in life and be completely happy.
18. The extra slim the focus of a person the extra pressured he is certain to get. He cannot discover something else aside from what he is focusing on at that second. Women deal with heaps of issues at the identical time and the approach they cope is to speak about them.
19. Men use their mind sequentially viz. one half at a time. The place girls are involved it is normally the complete mind at as soon as.
20. Women decrease stress via speaking and sharing. The collectiveness and togetherness which they share is half of their feminity. Men decrease their stress by being alone. Women’s angle is that if we cannot do something about it then let’s discuss it and endure collectively. Men’s focus is on fixing the issue. And if they cannot remedy the drawback then they make the drawback disappear by forgetting about it.
21. Men at all times need to be proper.
22. Women, unknowingly sabotage their success. They put themselves down as a result of they need assist. Women bond by placing themselves down. For instance if one is late for a specific operate in the workplace, the girl will say what an imbecile she is by not catching the proper prepare or lacking the connection as a result of of some silly mistake she made and so on. And different girls who are additionally late will do the identical.
23. Or if a girl is having an issue with the pc, she will name the so referred to as knowledgeable from the laptop division and inform him that she would not know something about computer systems and that she is very completely happy that he has come to her rescue and thereby push the man approach up there. However when he suggests a answer which she tends to disagree with, she would not know how to inform him as a result of if she does it, it makes him come crashing down and he reacts by saying that she has wasted his time. In this case one wants to resort to face saving gadgets like ‘no matter you have advised will I am positive assist me to determine it out (even if you see no utility in the suggestion).
24. As girls extra and extra enter into the office their want to being listened to and understood is not being met. The office is effectivity oriented. They are turning into extra and extra remoted. They have to elevate their youngsters alone. Unseen and unheard. And this is inflicting them to go extra and extra into despair. The man focusses on work no matter what the issues are that are being skilled at residence.
25. Man is effectivity oriented. He wants to really feel wanted. He wants issues to be solved. If there are no job alternatives or there is no effort referred to as for to do one thing then the man feels depressed.
26. When girls really feel nurtured they really feel completely happy. They are completely happy with the small issues of life. Man likes to measure himself in opposition to the aim he has set for himself. Men behave like squirrels. They focus on one factor, sprint in the direction of it and as soon as they attain there then they flip their focus on one other factor and make a sprint there and so on and so forth.
27. Men see the information on TV particularly after coming residence, as a result of the issues they hear about and see make their issues appear that a lot smaller.
28. John’s soul sings when he teaches. Want to seek out one’s path and go alongside it. The truth that one feels concern is as a result of it is one’s path. If it was not one’s path then one would not be so frightened about whether or not one made an affect or not.
29. The fact is I deserve to be the approach I am. I want not be bothered to be good in order to be beloved. As soon as one lives in an ambiance of good belief the extra genuine one turns into, and the extra genuine one turns into the extra irresistible one turns into. The nearer we are to who we really are the extra individuals will love us. There will at all times be individuals who do not love us.
30. Forgiveness is the key. If somebody hurts then one needn’t harm again. As Gandhi stated, An eye for an eye will make the complete world blind.
31. Women give extra. Men need to get extra.
32. Women need flowers to be bought by males. They usually ought to be cut- flowers. So that the flowers die and due to this fact the males have to go out and buy them once more and once more. They do not need the romance to go out of the relationship. Men on the opposite hand really feel that if they have carried out it as soon as there may be no necessity to do it once more and once more. However girls need issues and messages to be repeated once more and once more.
33. Women generally give hints viz. On Sunday they will point out that they are getting their hair reduce on Thursday. That is to be taken as a warning sign. The hair reduce should be seen. If a girl has to ask how she seems after she has had a hair reduce then there is no worth positioned on the person’s remark. It has to be seen with out being requested. Women put in a lot extra effort in wanting good. Men put in extra effort in their work.
34. Man desires to be appreciated. Lady desires to be listened to and seen. Men stress extra on what they do whereas girls stress extra on their being.
35. Men suppose that by being versatile they are Mr. Agreeable and that is appreciated by girls. Actually talking girls need males to take cost and counsel one thing which they agree on. Mr. Agreeable is boring. The superb metaphor is to have a man with a plan and a girl with a smile.
36. Typically the girl feels that she does all the things based on what the man desires. At this level it is essential for the lady to say “I will do it this time your approach however subsequent time we’ll do what I need.”
37. Women are at all times protecting rating in a relationship viz. When a girl does something for a man she at all times provides herself a level. Men hold rating in enterprise. Men want to maintain rating in a relationship too. They must do one thing for the girl so that they too rating factors from the girl’s level of view.
38. At work the man’s perspective is not to unnecessarily intrude. A man feels that if he would not ask then he is giving whole freedom to the girl. However a girl who’s a subordinate desires to be requested about her work as a result of silence is taken to imply ‘non-involvement’.
39. Women like the small stuff. Chit-Chat. Sometimes ask some private questions. The magic phrases are ‘What else?’
40. To free a man a girl wants to say ‘You do not want to say or do something and you do not want to really feel dangerous.’
41. Listening creates therapeutic.
42. Women by nature give. However when they discover that they are not getting something in return they want to give to themselves. Men have no drawback in giving to themselves. Men do not give sufficient to others.
43. Men favor girls managers whereas they study the job. After studying the job they favor a male supervisor.
44. Men dash quicker. Women win the lengthy distance.
45. In males testosterone lowers stress. In girls oxytocin lowers stress. Affection, considerateness, being seen is what produces the oxytocin in girls. Subsequently males want to study new abilities to supply oxytocin in girls. Foreplay is extra necessary for a girl than a man. A girl wants 20-30 minutes of stimulation. A man wants simply 2-3 minutes.
46. Women need delicate males however the hazard is that if males develop into too delicate then girls do not like it. They need males to be thoughtful however not to be too delicate simply like them.
47. Do not strive to repair or change your companion.
48. When husband and spouse are enterprise companions then there wants to be clear guidelines. There wants to be a clear demarcated time when no enterprise is talked about.
49. Obligation is necessary however being genuine is extra necessary.
50. Women can be in contrast metaphorically to the moon. When the moon is full, girls crave for intercourse. When it is half-full, a girl can have it not have it, it does not matter, and when it is a new moon she could not care much less.
51. There are completely different varieties of intercourse viz. Wholesome, residence cooked intercourse, Ferrari, junk meals intercourse, and Gourmand intercourse. As soon as a month one may have Gourmand intercourse which means bringing in the romance by going out for a dinner and coming residence to an ambiance which slowly climaxes. Every time he desires intercourse, and it is a quickie then give it to him. Offered on different events there is good, common home made intercourse. In order to reach at a significant understanding one may have 3 candles signifying the 3 varieties of intercourse. Both companion finds it very tough to know the actual temper of the different. Relying on which candle is lit and by whom one can behave accordingly. The candle turns into the signal of the temper.
